Fubar Branding: The Dirty Truth About Brand Values

Welcome back to Fubar Branding, the only series that teaches you how to ruin your Brand in style. Today, we’ll tackle an aspect of branding deemed “crucial”: Brand Values. If you believed that ignoring brand analytics, disregarding performance metrics, and dismissing competitive analysis was the path to triumph, brace yourself for what’s coming.

Brand values shape your Brand’s character and identity. They symbolize its purpose, genuineness, relevance, and distinction from rivals. Essentially, they make your Brand unique and allow customers to connect on a profound level. Well, guess what? You don’t need them. So don’t bother with those pesky authentic values when you’re hell-bent on wrecking your Brand. Here, we’ll demonstrate how to blatantly ignore the significance of brand values and observe your Brand’s descent into oblivion.

Vision & Mission: Impossible — Why Brand Purpose is Overrated

It seems everyone’s buzzing about brand purpose lately. “it’s the bedrock of your Brand,” they say, “it guides every decision,” they say. But is it truly worth the fanfare? We’re here to reveal that brand purpose is overblown, and you should utterly disregard it.

To be honest, customers don’t fret about your purpose. They simply desire quality products or services at reasonable prices. Moreover, you can generate substantial revenue without being shackled by a grand purpose statement.

Additionally, devising a purpose statement demands effort. You must contemplate your values, global impact, and overall vision and mission. And let’s not overlook the prime reason to snub brand purpose: it’s a cash drain. Consider the resources saved by not employing consultants, purchasing software, allocating time and money to branding activities, or conducting research and analytics. You could invest that money in more crucial matters, like lavish vacations or new cars.

To conclude, overlook the Brand Purpose, and concentrate on the true priority: profits. Your Brand may lack a clear identity or direction, but who cares when you’re rolling in dough?

Faking It ’til You Make It: The Surprising Key to Brand Authenticity

Authenticity has been heralded as the holy grail of branding since time immemorial. However, let’s face the truth: being authentic is laborious. It demands introspection, self-awareness, and vulnerability. So why bother when you can simply fake it ’til you make it?

Indeed, we’re saying it. Faking it ’til you make it is the key to brand success. No need to be genuine, honest, or even true to yourself. All that’s required is a compelling tale and the ability to project a resonant image to your target audience.

Consider it akin to acting. You don’t have to embody the character you’re portraying. You merely need to persuade your audience that you are. Branding is no different. You don’t have to be an authentic embodiment of your Brand. Just create an engaging narrative and project an image people will embrace.

Don’t forget the power of perception. After all, perception equals reality. So, if people perceive your Brand as genuine, it is — even if it’s all an illusion.

So, go ahead, abandon authenticity, and adopt the art of deception. Craft a story that captivates your audience, projects a resonant image, and witness your Brand soar. You may even end up believing your own hype.

The Relevance Ruse: How to Turn Off Customers with Outdated Brand Values

Did you assume your brand values were everlasting? That you could set them once and forget them? Think again! In today’s rapidly evolving world, your values require more frequent updates than your software. Ignore this counsel, and watch your Brand fade into obscurity.

Take Abercrombie & Fitch, for example, once the cool kid on the block. They clung to their outdated values instead of adapting, alienating customers and becoming a cautionary tale. Lesson learned: no one wants to patronize a store catering solely to “cool, good-looking people.”

You must constantly attune to your audience’s cultural and social context to dodge the relevance ruse. Their values should be as familiar to you as the back of your hand. But why stop there? Change your values to align with the latest trends faster than you change outfits. If your Brand’s image or identity gets lost in the process, consider it a small sacrifice for relevance, right?

If you’re still not persuaded, remember this: adhering to traditional values and messaging or changing them excessively guarantees being left behind. Embrace the relevance ruse and stay ahead of the curve. In the next chapter, we’ll discuss how not to differentiate from the competition, but for now, aim to be the trendiest Brand on the block.

Myth of Differentiation: A Guide to Copying Your Way to Success

Sure, being distinct might seem appealing, but it’s risky. What if your unique brand values don’t resonate with your audience? What if they find you peculiar and can’t comprehend your Brand’s individuality? It’s safer to blend in and emulate others.

Branding expert and contrarian Tom Fishburne once stated, “The best brands stand for something their audience already believes. They don’t try to be something they’re not.” Why struggle with differentiation when you can safely conform to the status quo?

If you truly wish to stand out, simply add a catchy slogan to your Brand and call it a day. Who needs genuine differentiation when you can adopt a clever tagline that’s been used countless times before?

Congratulations! You’ve reached the end of another Fubar Branding article. We hope you’re now convinced that brand values are overrated, and it’s far more enjoyable to just wing it and hope for the best.

Remember, mere mediocrity isn’t enough; you want a completely ruined brand! Keep following our Fubar Branding series for more tips and tricks on sabotaging your Brand in the most entertaining and effective ways possible.

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